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my thoughts, anywhere, anytime

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My Greatest Gift, My Legacy

Me nakapagsabi, “Being a brother is better than being a superhero.” And he couldn’t be more right.

Through the years, madami ng pagbabago ang aking pinagdaanan. Mula sa pagiging self-centered, natuto akong maging mapagbigay. At lahat ng yun, salamat sa mga taong nakilala ko.

Through the years, madami na akong nakilalang mga tao. Nandiyan yung mga umalis, yung mga nagbalik, at yung mga nanatili. 

May mga samahang nagbago sa haba ng panahon. May mga samahang pinatatag ng pagkakataon.

At sa lahat ng ito, I am very thankful. Hindi dahil sa may mga nakasama ako— kung hindi dahil may mga taong nagparamdam sa akin na I am cherished— na I am special, that I am loved.

Time and again, lagi kong sinasabi na without these people, matagal na akong wala sa KBS-HRP. True enough, they were a part of the reason as to why I stayed. They were the reasons why I chose to become better. 

Ultimately, they were the reasons why I became happy.

Totoo nga naman, masaya ako na itinuring nila akong kuya nila (oo, kuya, kasi ako ang pinakamatanda, haha). Masaya ako na naibahagi ko sa kanila ang buhay ko. Masaya din ako na maging sila ay nagbahagi ng buhay nila sa akin. There is no greater love than to lay down your life for your friends, sabi sa Bible, di ba? And no questions asked, I would do that for them.

Masaya ako na naging kaibigan, kuya, o tatay nila ako. Kahit na minsan, sila ang rason kung bakit laging walang laman ang wallet ko, ayos lang. Which is more important ba, money or friendship? I say the latter.

Alam ko din naman, marami akong pagkukulang, and for that I am deeply sorry. Sa mga tumanggap at nagpatawad, salamat. Sa mga hindi naman, siguro, may mga taong di lang talaga nakatadhanang magtagal sa ating buhay.

Siguro nga, sa aking pag-alis, maituturing kong greatest legacy ang ang aking friendship, ang aking brotherhood.

Higit sa lahat, it is my love that I want them to remember. Sabi nga nila (ulit), people will forget what you have done for them, but they will always remember how you made them feel.

My Greatest Gift, My Legacy

Me nakapagsabi, “Being a brother is better than being a superhero.” And he couldn’t be more right.

Through the years, madami ng pagbabago ang aking pinagdaanan. Mula sa pagiging self-centered, natuto akong maging mapagbigay. At lahat ng yun, salamat sa mga taong nakilala ko.

Through the years, madami na akong nakilalang mga tao. Nandiyan yung mga umalis, yung mga nagbalik, at yung mga nanatili.

May mga samahang nagbago sa haba ng panahon. May mga samahang pinatatag ng pagkakataon.

At sa lahat ng ito, I am very thankful. Hindi dahil sa may mga nakasama ako— kung hindi dahil may mga taong nagparamdam sa akin na I am cherished— na I am special, that I am loved.

Time and again, lagi kong sinasabi na without these people, matagal na akong wala sa KBS-HRP. True enough, they were a part of the reason as to why I stayed. They were the reasons why I chose to become better.

Ultimately, they were the reasons why I became happy.

Totoo nga naman, masaya ako na itinuring nila akong kuya nila (oo, kuya, kasi ako ang pinakamatanda, haha). Masaya ako na naibahagi ko sa kanila ang buhay ko. Masaya din ako na maging sila ay nagbahagi ng buhay nila sa akin. There is no greater love than to lay down your life for your friends, sabi sa Bible, di ba? And no questions asked, I would do that for them.

Masaya ako na naging kaibigan, kuya, o tatay nila ako. Kahit na minsan, sila ang rason kung bakit laging walang laman ang wallet ko, ayos lang. Which is more important ba, money or friendship? I say the latter.

Alam ko din naman, marami akong pagkukulang, and for that I am deeply sorry. Sa mga tumanggap at nagpatawad, salamat. Sa mga hindi naman, siguro, may mga taong di lang talaga nakatadhanang magtagal sa ating buhay.

Siguro nga, sa aking pag-alis, maituturing kong greatest legacy ang ang aking friendship, ang aking brotherhood.

Higit sa lahat, it is my love that I want them to remember. Sabi nga nila (ulit), people will forget what you have done for them, but they will always remember how you made them feel.

Filed under friendship brotherhood gratitude kbshrp open letter

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Once, I was Loved.

I can still remember the day when we first met. To quote Tina Arena, you were in your world and I was in mine. Then suddenly, when all barriers were broken down, my life has changed.

As days went by, we grew closer to each other. The attraction developed and soon enough, we became more than friends. I really don’t know what happened as everything is such a blur now.

All I know is that the love I have learned to cherish until now developed on that Halloween night.

I will forever keep that moment— because it reminds me that once I was loved.

Once, there was someone who cared for me deeply. Looking through your eyes literally sent chills on my spine. Oh, how I love your eyes and the way you looked at me. It was so full of love that my heart overflows.

Once there was someone who made me happy in every possible way. I remember the gifts and the sweet letters you have given me. As simple as they may seem, they did make me feel important, special. The time we spent together were the happiest I ever had in my life — until now.

Once there was someone who loved me. I remember the times we exchanged I love yous with each other. I remember all of the times we have spent together. Those days, as simple as they may be, were full of passion that my heart was burning with desire every time we were together.

How I miss the kisses and the hugs. Those kept me alive. I was given a reason to live with enthusiasm every single day, knowing that they will be spent with you.

Oh, how my life changed during those times. I regret nothing for I was happy to spend my days with you. You became my anchor. You became my light. You became my life.

But, destiny had other plans for us. The months that we lovingly spent together ended. I was devastated as the walls into our world came tumbling down.

We separated without even saying goodbye. Although we have seen it coming, we did not do anything to stop it. Our relationship was slowly falling apart and we did not even try to remedy it. I guess we just grew tired after experiencing a whirlwind romance.

Looking back, that was a mistake we could have easily prevented. But no, we did nothing. I did nothing. And now, I am left longing.

I long for the day when we will meet again. I hope, someday, we will be able to rekindle what we had before. Or if not, at least, may it bring the closure to what we started, the proper ending to a story that abruptly stopped.

Presently, fourteen years later, I wonder if I am indeed still in love with you. Or is it just a longing for formality as we really did not say our goodbyes? I don’t know the answer. That is why subconsciously, I still hope to meet you.

One thing is certain, though. I was happiest when I was with you. You remind me how it feels like to be loved. You remind me of that feeling that I was deprived of ever since we parted.

As lonely as I am right now, I am still thankful for you, because for as long as you are in my heart and memories, I know that once, I was loved.

Isn’t that a consoling feeling, after all?

Filed under love romance love letter bittersweet the past

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Tang megcheck kang iPad bayu matudtud at ini ing ikit mu. Grabe. @rensmaryon kakagawan mu ini ne!

Tang megcheck kang iPad bayu matudtud at ini ing ikit mu. Grabe. @rensmaryon kakagawan mu ini ne!